All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
