so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
