i dont even know how to be here
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
