I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
