oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
