Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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