I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
