so that wasnt chicken after all
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
