I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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