I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
