did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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