Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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