i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
