i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
