absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
