Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
