Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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