And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
