New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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