he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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