Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
