Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
