I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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