So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
