he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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