don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
