watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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