I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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