It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
