I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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