In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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