that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
