The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
