Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
