I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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