even my farts smell like vagina
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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