U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
