So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
