I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
