I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is it penis luge time yet?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
