hotel room ftw
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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