Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
