That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
