Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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