too bad you live with your parents still
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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