How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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