also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
