we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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