Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
