no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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