my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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