how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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