let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
And my parents said I crawled through the house
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
