5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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